5 keys to loving yourself
The secret to loving others is to love ourselves first, although we often forget it. If we do not love each other, we cannot establish healthy relationships because it is entirely impossible to offer others what we lack.
But what does it mean to love oneself? Loving ourselves means being attentive to our vital needs, accepting ourselves as we are, respecting ourselves, being honest, and getting our best version. Is not it easy?
Although it seems simple, we do not always achieve this goal, so today, we will highlight 5 keys to loving yourself so you can learn to love yourself. Yes, it is determining that it will take time, but whose results will be very satisfactory for you and your relationship with others.
1. Dare to be yourself
Many people seem to have two types of faces: one that they show when they are at home (in the family) and another that they present to people outside (friends, neighbors, strangers). They seem to dare not be themselves and try to be what others want them to be. It is worth asking whether, in these circumstances, they adapt to the environment or are not authentic with themselves. Because one thing is knowing how to adapt to the environment and the other not being able to be oneself for the ‘what will they say.’
Loving ourselves implies, necessarily, leaving aside appearances and all those external influences that may be directing our way of being. No matter the area in which you move, showing yourself as you are will make you feel much better. In this way, you will discover if those who accepted you as you were will continue to do it or just do it for the image you wanted to convey.
Striving to please others is a too great sacrifice that can take you along the paths of stress and anxiety. Be positive with your way of being, and never underestimate yourself. Think that you don’t have to be more than yourself and that is very easy! Although the road may be a bit rough, you will appreciate it. Those around you will be people who will accept you for who you are and not for who you want to appear.
2. Live unique experiences
If we see life go by day after day immersed in the same routine, it is impossible for us to feel any kind of emotion or adrenaline that invites us to experience unique experiences. Little by little, we will be transformed into apathetic and gray people who will not have aspirations to do anything else that is far from the daily customs.
Loving ourselves also implies that it is our responsibility to take the reins of life to avoid seeing it pass before our eyes as if it meant nothing. Are you going to waste your precious time? We are so used to seeing life go by that we don’t care about sitting on the couch to watch. However, without being told that we have a week to live, what would we do? Wouldn’t something change in us? Time passes, so let’s maximize it while we can!
Let’s take as an example that you are afraid to leave that job that does not motivate you and does not give you anything because money is always missing, and you are very safe. Take a risk, go crazy! You will get everything you desire if you start making decisions that allow you to get out of a situation you don’t like. Fear is an adaptive emotion; however, when it paralyzes us so much that it prevents us from living day to day regularly, it means that it has taken over us. Sometimes, it is good to leave our comfort zone and look for new paths. Life is full of surprises!
3. Develop your potential
Many people are good at certain activities that may be related to sports or music, among others. But, if they don’t practice and don’t take a little of their time to devote to these hobbies, they probably won’t get to enjoy them or develop their full potential.
We all have something that we are good at and, even if not, there will always be a different activity that we like to do. Therefore, try and get us a little out of that dynamic work and obligations in which we are immersed is a good idea to start drawing new routes. Who knows if from there our life can take another course that surprises us more than we thought.
Loving oneself at least has one advantage: there aren’t many rivals.”
-Georg Christoph Lichtenberg-
Imagine that you want to participate in some kind of painting because it relaxes you and you would like to perfect your techniques. For some reason, you do not dare and end up putting it off. Do not do it! There is a phrase that says, “don’t leave for tomorrow what you can do today.” Maybe, in the future, you regret not having done it, so just get down to work.
4. Complain less
To love ourselves, neglecting victimhood will be essential. Sometimes, we are submerged in that spiral of complaints that do not let us move forward because instead of acting, we simply lament. As Buddhist Psychology states, when we complain, we only feed negative emotions. That is, we add more fuel to the fire. In this way, we only feed thoughts that produce negative states that lead us to suffer. Thus, it will be essential to start focusing more on the positive aspects of everyday life and leave behind complaints and regrets.
Complaints will not help you, and what’s more, they will prevent you from enjoying it. We will be much happier if we try to see the positive side of everything that happens to us, because unlike regretting, this does help us! We can learn, we can take ideas, and we will move where we want.
Think of a time that you have been the victim of a situation and have complained. Did you solve something? Was everything better later? Probably not. Enjoy and, instead of complaining, adopt an attitude of acceptance and optimism. Acceptance, in this case, is a psychological process that invites us to accept the present situation and, from there, begin to take action. That is, it is not a passive process, but an active one. Loving ourselves means working with ourselves, and lament is not the best way.
If you have no choice, what reason is there to be dejected? And if you don’t have it, how does the grief benefit?
5. Open your mindset and free yourself
Many times we consider ourselves living in a bubble from which we can’t leave. This bubble protects us, but at the same time, it limits us to live new adventures. Occasionally, all this prevents us from connecting with new people and discovering hobbies that we might be passionate about.
People with closed mentalities are like a dead end. Even if they move forward or backward, there is a time when they cannot go further. What is not known to them is that these alleys are only creations of the mind itself. We tie ourselves preventing ourselves from freeing ourselves and experiencing new things.
Sometimes, living in a bubble has a lot to do with the fears we suffer. The terror itself to confront them causes us to lock ourselves in ourselves. To love us, learning to look them straight and overcome them will be indispensable.
My happiness depends solely on one person, and that person is me
Do you love yourself? Have you loved someone without loving you first? It is risky to dare to start a relationship if, previously, we have not learned to respect each other, to appreciate ourselves, and to be honest with ourselves and with others. To establish healthy relationships with others, you first have to focus on yourself and create a healthy relationship with you. Only then can you start loving other people in a sincere and real way.